Far Above Rubies

In Proverbs 31 King Lemuel recounts some things his mother taught him.  She said, “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.”  The answers to that question my friend are both simple and complicated at the same time.  It has taken me the better part of my married life to figure this out, over 15 wonderful years, “Who can find a virtuous woman?”  The simplest answer is this; No one.  Who can?  No one can.  A virtuous woman is a gift from the LORD and if you have a virtuous godly wife by your side it is because God gave her to you.   Proverbs also says “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.”  It is a wonderful thing to share your life with a virtuous woman, but you did not find her, you have undeservingly obtained favour of the LORD in this.

But you say, “I asked, I sought, I found!... Didn’t Jesus say,  Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”  And perhaps you did just that.  Perhaps you asked God for a godly wife.  You sought for that special someone to stand by your side all the days of your life.  You found the girl of your sanctified dreams.  You found a wife, and the scriptures say that you have found “a good thing, and have obtained favour of the LORD.”

Jesus also said “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other.”  Let me ask you something did your search for a wife consume you?  Was it all you could think about at times?  Does it now consume you if you are a single man?  I can tell you from experience, and from the testimony of others, that if this is the case you will labor in vain to find a wife if finding a wife is an all-consuming desire.  I searched and searched for that special someone.  I had a few ‘lady friends’, some of them very godly, but for some reason in my head the match wasn’t right. The problem was not in my head it was in my ‘heart’. Also there were others who I had taken to dinner, or taken shopping or something, and for them it was just a ‘date’, they had no interest in pursuing a deeper relationship.  I wearied myself asking, seeking, and knocking.  Finally in frustration I prayed, “God. I’ve had enough. This is killing me. If YOU want me to be single for my entire life, if that’s Your plan then that will be fine with me.  I will love You. I will serve You. I will do whatever You want, I will do it single if that’s what You want, and I will do it joyfully.”

Jesus said that our Heavenly Father knows what things we have need of.  He said “seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”  When I resigned myself to seeking God and His righteousness then, and only then did He open that door to blessing for me.  How it all came about will have to wait for another story.  But like a breath of fresh spring air, like spring showers on a warm spring morning God brought that special someone into my life.

“Who can find a virtuous woman?”  As I said the answer to that question is both simple (No one can.) and complicated.  Here is the complicated answer.  Jesus said that we should seek first Him, His Father, to seek God’s glory alone.  He said if we do this than all we need would be provided.  James wrote “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with Whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.”  Every good gift is from heaven. 

Now you say “Why is that a complicated answer?”  Well here is the part of the answer that is complicated.  Man looks on the outward appearance and God looks at the heart.  We generally find our interest in someone based on what we men in our shallowness see with our own two eyes.  I’m not talking simply physical appearance; some are shallower about this than others, they only look for a ‘looker’.  But outwardly we look at habits, and hobbies, intellect and personality.  We look at the things we can measure and observe but God looks at what will be, not at what is.

I am thankful that I have a beautiful, thoughtful, virtuous woman to share my life with but I did not ‘find’ her. Virtuous women are not born virtuous, they are ‘made’ virtuous by a work of grace in their hearts.  God through His infinite mercy takes an individual whose sins have separated her from the mercy of God and ‘reaches down’ and redeems them.  

(LINK)

 If any come to Him they come this way.  They must be redeemed by the blood of the Lamb; by Jesus’ sacrifice on Calvary’s cross.  God saves them, saves us, and then begins a work of grace in changing us and conforming us into the likeness of Jesus’ holiness and virtue.  “If you have a virtuous godly wife by your side it is because God gave her to you.”

(PROVERBS 31:10-30)

• Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price [is] far above rubies.
• The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
• She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
• She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
• She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
• She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
• She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
• She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
• She perceiveth that her merchandise [is] good: her candle goeth not out by night.
• She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
• She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
• She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
• She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
• Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
• She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
• Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
• She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

Thank God for the wisdom of a godly wife and every kind word that she speaks; “She buildeth up her husband as a wall that needeth repair at times.”  Thank God.

• She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
• Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
• Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
• Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

As I said “I am thankful that I have a beautiful, thoughtful, virtuous woman to share my life with.”  She is a gift from my loving Heavenly Father, a gift I didn’t earn, deserve, or find.  She is knowledgeable, temperate, patient, godly, kind, and loving.  I couldn’t want, don’t want anything, anyone besides.  I have a gift whose price is far above rubies.

Ladies don’t stop with virtue…

• And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;
• And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;
• And to godliness, brotherly (and sisterly) kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.
• For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

(2 Peter 1:5-8)

For if these things be in you, and abound
He will increase and you will decrease.

"He must increase, WE must decrease!"

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