Far Above Rubies

In Proverbs 31 King Lemuel recounts some things his mother taught him.  She said, “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.”  The answers to that question my friend are both simple and complicated at the same time.  It has taken me the better part of my married life to figure this out, over 15 wonderful years, “Who can find a virtuous woman?”  The simplest answer is this; No one.  Who can?  No one can.  A virtuous woman is a gift from the LORD and if you have a virtuous godly wife by your side it is because God gave her to you.   Proverbs also says “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.”  It is a wonderful thing to share your life with a virtuous woman, but you did not find her, you have undeservingly obtained favour of the LORD in this.

But you say, “I asked, I sought, I found!... Didn’t Jesus say,  Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”  And perhaps you did just that.  Perhaps you asked God for a godly wife.  You sought for that special someone to stand by your side all the days of your life.  You found the girl of your sanctified dreams.  You found a wife, and the scriptures say that you have found “a good thing, and have obtained favour of the LORD.”

Jesus also said “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other.”  Let me ask you something did your search for a wife consume you?  Was it all you could think about at times?  Does it now consume you if you are a single man?  I can tell you from experience, and from the testimony of others, that if this is the case you will labor in vain to find a wife if finding a wife is an all-consuming desire.  I searched and searched for that special someone.  I had a few ‘lady friends’, some of them very godly, but for some reason in my head the match wasn’t right. The problem was not in my head it was in my ‘heart’. Also there were others who I had taken to dinner, or taken shopping or something, and for them it was just a ‘date’, they had no interest in pursuing a deeper relationship.  I wearied myself asking, seeking, and knocking.  Finally in frustration I prayed, “God. I’ve had enough. This is killing me. If YOU want me to be single for my entire life, if that’s Your plan then that will be fine with me.  I will love You. I will serve You. I will do whatever You want, I will do it single if that’s what You want, and I will do it joyfully.”

Jesus said that our Heavenly Father knows what things we have need of.  He said “seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”  When I resigned myself to seeking God and His righteousness then, and only then did He open that door to blessing for me.  How it all came about will have to wait for another story.  But like a breath of fresh spring air, like spring showers on a warm spring morning God brought that special someone into my life.

“Who can find a virtuous woman?”  As I said the answer to that question is both simple (No one can.) and complicated.  Here is the complicated answer.  Jesus said that we should seek first Him, His Father, to seek God’s glory alone.  He said if we do this than all we need would be provided.  James wrote “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with Whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.”  Every good gift is from heaven. 

Now you say “Why is that a complicated answer?”  Well here is the part of the answer that is complicated.  Man looks on the outward appearance and God looks at the heart.  We generally find our interest in someone based on what we men in our shallowness see with our own two eyes.  I’m not talking simply physical appearance; some are shallower about this than others, they only look for a ‘looker’.  But outwardly we look at habits, and hobbies, intellect and personality.  We look at the things we can measure and observe but God looks at what will be, not at what is.

I am thankful that I have a beautiful, thoughtful, virtuous woman to share my life with but I did not ‘find’ her. Virtuous women are not born virtuous, they are ‘made’ virtuous by a work of grace in their hearts.  God through His infinite mercy takes an individual whose sins have separated her from the mercy of God and ‘reaches down’ and redeems them.  

(LINK)

 If any come to Him they come this way.  They must be redeemed by the blood of the Lamb; by Jesus’ sacrifice on Calvary’s cross.  God saves them, saves us, and then begins a work of grace in changing us and conforming us into the likeness of Jesus’ holiness and virtue.  “If you have a virtuous godly wife by your side it is because God gave her to you.”

(PROVERBS 31:10-30)

• Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price [is] far above rubies.
• The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
• She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
• She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
• She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
• She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
• She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
• She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
• She perceiveth that her merchandise [is] good: her candle goeth not out by night.
• She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
• She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
• She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
• She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
• Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
• She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
• Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
• She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

Thank God for the wisdom of a godly wife and every kind word that she speaks; “She buildeth up her husband as a wall that needeth repair at times.”  Thank God.

• She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
• Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
• Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
• Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

As I said “I am thankful that I have a beautiful, thoughtful, virtuous woman to share my life with.”  She is a gift from my loving Heavenly Father, a gift I didn’t earn, deserve, or find.  She is knowledgeable, temperate, patient, godly, kind, and loving.  I couldn’t want, don’t want anything, anyone besides.  I have a gift whose price is far above rubies.

Ladies don’t stop with virtue…

• And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;
• And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;
• And to godliness, brotherly (and sisterly) kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.
• For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

(2 Peter 1:5-8)

For if these things be in you, and abound
He will increase and you will decrease.

"He must increase, WE must decrease!"

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I Love Our God

I love our God.  I love the variety, diversity, individuality and creativity with which He has made everything including us.  I am told that no two snowflakes are exactly alike.  I’m not sure about that but I am pretty certain that no two people are exactly alike.  I love that.  And I love that even though we all have different temperaments, likes and dislikes, hobbies and habits, that God loves us just as we are.  So much so that He determined to save us in the most unspeakable way from our sinful plight. 

If you do not know this love from God, love that is strong enough that He chose to die, If you do not know this love then leave this story and go read “Closer to Jesus”; Look over to your right, see the link there under the heading “A Cross Roads”.  Check it out; You can always come back.

As I was saying. I love our God.  He says that we men are responsible to teach our children to love God too.  Regarding God’s statutes I am supposed to and you are supposed to “teach them diligently unto thy children, thou and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”  I work hard at this but I often drop the ball that’s why this story means so much to me.

My son and I were recently with a group of men and their sons at the Cornerstone Baptist Church in Topsham, Maine for a father/son overnighter.  We had been meeting with these dear folks monthly for nearly a year.  We were planning to spend the night in a roughed out clearing in the woods, a place where one of their church men had ‘given’ to the group so that we can make a camp meeting place.  Because of incoming torrential rains in the forecast we spent the night in the church instead.  We had pizza, father and son time, played ping-pong, and watched a movie I had never seen before. “Sergeant York” We both liked the movie very much.  Thank you Dan O. for sharing that.

For the night I slept on some couch cushions in the foyer of their church.  My son slept on the cushionless couch.  I liked that spot because not far from us, over the entry to their sanctuary was a sign that read “Prepare to Worship” and what I liked about that was I was aware of the sign above the door that you see as you leave the sanctuary that reads “PREPARED to serve” If we worship God rightly in our churches we then are amply prepared to serve God and others in the world.

In the morning after a small breakfast, a little fellowship, and some father/son time we left Cornerstone to drive to the camp site.  Now when I said it is a roughed out clearing in the woods I had no idea how rough.  There were fallen branches and trees everywhere.  Left over from logging work from years past.  I’m not sure even where we would have slept had it not rained.  Matt B., one of the dads, cleared a spot and started a fire.  The rest of us commenced to clearing land.  We got much done.  It was fun and it went quickly.  It is going to make a beautiful camp site where we will have many times of fellowship and father/son relationship builder opportunities.

While we were working I slipped away from the group to get alone with the Lord.  I walked down over the hill I was setting a site on, down a short ways into the wood to a nearby stream, and found a nice seat-like rock next to a small waterfall where I could go to pray.  I sat there and prayed for quite some time. It was a very needful break.

Later I saw one of the men pull his son aside.  I’m not sure why but I thought, “I need to pull my boy aside and talk with him.”  I said, “Come here buddy.”  He looked up curiously. “Come with me.”  We walked and talked. I took him to that spot by the stream.  I told him, “If when we are here, and you can’t find me, this is where I’ll be”  “I’ll be here, thinking, praying, and reading.”

After a while of quietly listening to the water rush over the falls he said “Dad, can I pray, I’d like to pray.”  I said, “Sure, Go ahead buddy.”  And then he prayed a very grown-up prayer.  I was impressed, I was proud.

As we left that spot and quietly walked together back to where the men were working my boy said, “Dad.” Then there was a long pause. He said “I love our God.”  And my heart leaped in my chest for joy.  I was over-joyed.  Then I calmly said, “That’s good buddy.  That makes your dad happy.”  I wanted to shout for joy but I contained myself.  What an awesome God we serve!

If we take time to spend with our sons father’s, and with our daughters, some of the love that we have for God is going to ‘rub off’.

“He must increase, WE must decrease!”

I love our God!

Sorry, sorry, sorry, ........ sorry.

There are some parts of the English language that if they get used too frequently or haphazardly that they tend to lose their significance.  Two of those parts is the phrase, “I love you.” And the word, ‘sorry’.

When someone says ‘I love you’ haphazardly than the recipient is left wondering if what was meant is the charitable love of 1 Cor. 13 which is the love of Christ, or do they simply mean I really appreciate you a lot; I like you.  Or is it the kind of love the publicans had who were saying you’re one of us therefore ‘I love you’.  Usually it’s obvious when it is the charitable kind of love because their actions have already demonstrated it before hand.

Now, in my home, we are trying to get our children to stop saying ‘sorry’ upon every word of correction or conflict.  Frequently it’s repeated four or five times in succession apparently for emphasis.  We are now requiring them to reserve the “I’m sorry” phrase for when they have clearly disobeyed or done something hurtful or spiteful to one another.  They then are required to say “I’m sorry for ‘whatever they did’, it was wrong, please forgive me.”

This is new to them so when we speak to them and they say, “Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.” Pause “Sorry.” and we then remind them that they did it again, the first thing they say is “sorry.” J  When we give them simple instruction or mild correction we are trying to get them to simply acknowledge what we said, say “yes mom” or “yes dad” and then say something like “I will try.”; But not “Sorry.”

We want “I’m sorry” to be reserved for when there is sin involved; the sin of disobedience or the sin of mistreating others.  It’s no different with our God.  He demonstrated His love for us in that while we were sinners Christ died for us.  God said, “I have loved you with and everlasting love” in the book of Jeremiah. This is His love toward those who are the whosoever’s that chose to respond to His overtures toward them.  He doesn’t want to hear the haphazard “I’m sorry” of an unrepentant heart.  God wants to hear us say to Him and will accept the genuine “I’m sorry Jesus I sinned against You, I’m sorry You had to die for me, thank You for doing that for me, I know I didn’t deserve Your love but I’m so glad You love me. I love You Jesus. AMEN.”

In that is the beginning of a beautiful relationship with Him where He continually increases in significance in our lives and our own selfish endeavors decrease.

“He must increase, and WE must decrease!”

Like Father, Like Son

            Yesterday my boy had his friend Joseph from church over to spend a day and a night at our home.  While they were doing some target shooting in the backyard with the bow and arrows Joseph overshot the target and the arrow was lost.  The boys looked everywhere for the arrow scanning with their eyes back and forth over the overgrown lawn.  They didn’t see it anywhere.

            That’s when my son remembered the happenings at the apple orchard explained in the Blog post entitled, “Does He Really Care? Really?”  He decided to pray and intended to repeat my simple prayer. “LORD, you know exactly where it is. Could You please help me find it.”  According to him he prayed, “LORD, you know exactly where it is. Could You please help me…” Huh? He stopped mid-sentence and as he looked down into the tall grass he noticed the arrow’s bright feathers just barely peeking through the blades at his feet.

            I for one believe it happened just as he said.  All you have to do is read the aforementioned post to understand why I believe it.  He was ecstatic as he shared his story and I was thrilled that he is learning to trust God for the simple things so early in life.

            I have no doubt that in his life. Jesus will be magnified, and he (my son) will be growing increasingly and powerfully humble.  “He must increase, and WE must decrease!”

Does He Really Care? Really?

Do you think the little things that concern children matter to God?  I mean things like their favorite toy, and their favorite blanket, and their favorite pair of sunglasses.  I am convinced that they do matter a great deal to Him.  They matter to Him because they matter to them.  Spurgeon said in a commentary of Psalm 139 that God cares about “all the littles in our little worlds.”

Just this past Friday afternoon while my son-shine, my wife, was out of town, I took the kids and we joined a friend and his kids on their traditional apple picking adventure up at Wallingford’s Orchards.  They made it a tradition to go with dad picking while their mom was away.  It was a cool and sunny afternoon and my nine year old sweetheart (my daughter) wore her favorite sunglasses out into the orchard as we picked.  At one point she decided that she didn’t want to wear them anymore, and she didn’t want to carry them anymore either.  “Dad can you carry my sunglasses?” She requested. “Sure.” Was my simple reply as I reached out my hand, took the wide lens pink glasses and slid one of its arms into my pocket so they kind of just dangled there.

We picked.  We picked high and we picked low.  We picked mostly Mac’s, red ones and semi-red ones; we tried to avoid the green ones.  We picked and picked and it went fast.  At one point I was lifting my nine year old ton-of-bricks onto my shoulders so she could get the high ones.  The bag was a bulging 17 pounds when all was said and done.

After we went into the store and paid for the bag we stopped by the van I borrowed from my parents.  The wife had the Lincoln and was Navigating somewhere up near Camden.  So after dropping the bag off at the van we walked to the back of the store where there were picnic tables and things for the kids to do.  We, my friend and I, walked while watching the kids and talked and for a while also sat at the tables and talked.  It was a good cool afternoon for a visit.

When it was time to leave and return the van we moseyed back to the vehicles and went our separate directions.  Only I didn’t get very far before I heard, “Dad, do you still have my sunglasses?”  I forgot they were clipped to my pants the whole time we covered the grounds of Wallingford’s.  When I looked down, yup, you guessed it.  They were gone.  I apologetically said, “No Sweetheart I don’t, they’re gone. They must have fallen. We can get you another pair.”

She was heartbroken.   “Dad, can we go back? They were my favorite!”

So you know what I did? I turned the van around and we went back.  All the while I was thinking it was impossible.  Someone would have found them; kept them.  I’m never going to find them.

When I went back I pulled over to the side of the orchard, left the kids in the car with the car running because it was starting to get cool, and ran down towards where we were picking.  I began scouring the tall grass with my eyes, scanning back and forth, back and forth.; taking a few steps then back and forth again, back and forth with my eyes.  Then I went to the next tree for the same routine.  Nothing.  And nothing again.

I was getting a little discouraged and was about to give up.  As a last ditch attempt I prayed.  Why do we often wait until the “last thing” to pray?  I intended to say, “Lord, you know exactly where they are.  Could you please help me find them?”  What I actually prayed was, “Lord, you know exactly where they are.  Could you please help me….”  And I couldn’t believe my eyes.  There in front of me, just as plain as day were my little girls big pink wide lens glasses!!!  I ended with “Thank You LORD!” as I picked them up and ran back to the van.

This became the story at the dinner table as we joined our apple picking friends for supper that evening.  I am sure that in their eyes God was magnified.  I am sure because I was told later that they conveyed the tale to their mom over the phone.

“He (The Lord Jesus) must increase, and WE must decrease.” But even though this is true He is very concerned with “all the littles in our little worlds.”

WWJD

Early on as a young adult Christian I found myself in a very awkward situation.  A situation in which I had to definitely ask myself, “What would Jesus do?” and yet, I now realize, twenty years later, that Jesus would not have done anything in that exact moment.  I had created the problem, the dilemma, the awkwardness; or at least I had intensified an already awkward situation.  I had done it acting rashly and not following some, yet unknown to me, biblical injunctions.  No doubt the ramifications of my actions have had a profound impact on those involved; but perhaps not the impact I wanted to have.

While I was trying to find myself; trying to carve out my niche in the world. I was trying to see if maybe God would want me to follow in my older brother’s footsteps, footsteps that seemed to be following in our fathers.  I was working as a pipe-fitter apprentice, working with a man named Phil, learning the secrets of bending tubing to match blueprint specs so we could put one giant paper machine puzzle together in Warren, Maine.  My father and my brother were putting larger parts of the puzzle together, huge pieces of pipe that needed to be welded together.  They were working on the same machine, just in another part of the huge ark-like building housing the contraption.  And Doug, who was my step-brother growing up, may as well say he was my brother too, was working on the same machine in yet another field of study.  I can’t really remember if it was electrical, carpentry, plumbing, or what he was studying but you get the idea.  We were all together in one huge building in Warren, Maine building one colossal paper making device.

Warren, if I remember correctly, and I’m not going to “Google” it because it really is not an important fact of the story; if I remember correctly it is about an hour plus a few minutes’ drive north of L\A (Lewiston-Auburn) here in Maine.  To save on gas, and to allow for some more shut-eye during the drive, we would car pool each taking turns daily to drive.  When it was your turn to drive you would use your own vehicle and gas while the others sipped coffee, napped, or whatever.  Most days this was no problem because when it was someone else’s vehicle I was just along for the ride and it didn’t really matter to me who did what.  But when it was my turf it made a great deal of difference to me.  Perhaps it shouldn’t have but then it made a great deal of difference.  On the way home we would make the customary stop at a convenience store; so the guys could get “smokes”, a beer, a snack, or whatever the long days work had them hankerin’ for.

 I usually stayed in the car.  I didn’t smoke anymore. I didn’t drink anymore. And besides I was a minor and shouldn’t anyway. And rarely was I hungry when I got out of work.  All I wanted to do was to get home and get cleaned up.  To get some of the filth of that construction site cleaned off of me.  I didn’t mind waiting.  I didn’t even mind putting up with my families’ habits on the way home; after all it wasn’t long ago before that I shared in all the same habits myself but now I was different.  I had been changed from the inside out by the King of Kings, The Lord Jesus.  He was changing me into a newer, cleaner, and healthier person.  Though a new person there were some things I hadn’t learned.  Like tact, patience, tolerance, and listening to His voice guide in difficult situations. 

I didn’t mind waiting but I didn’t want to stop when it was my turn to drive the bus.  I didn’t want to stop because even though most days  I didn’t mind putting up with my families’ habits, when it was my turn to drive, when it was my turf, it made a great deal of difference to me what went on in the boundaries of my life, my property, my car.

On a certain day, probably a Monday, probably after getting fired up on Sunday to take a stand for Jesus, it was my turn to drive.  The way to work was usually uneventful because most of the guys slept through the drive.  The way home was a different story and this particular day for some reason I was determined not to be pressed into a mold of other peoples making.

We stopped at the convenience store at someone’s request; insistence probably, I don’t remember that.  I just remember we stopped.  After everyone climbed into the car again we set on our way.  I was playing some “Oak Ridge Boys” (I think) on the cassette player.  It was a country-western style gospel music that I thought they might tolerate since they all liked, or “didn’t mind”, country. And we drove.

After a short distance someone, I think it was my father, cracked a beer can open and opened up a flood of turmoil in my heart and mind. ‘I am a minor, doesn’t he care I could get in trouble with the law!’ I thought, and ‘this is my car, I don’t want alcohol in my car anymore! You think he would realize that!’ I mused and fumed inside quietly.

After another short distance, my brother, the step-brother, asked if he could smoke in the car.  I replied with, “It’s a fairly new car and since I quit smoking I don’t want the smell of smoke on her.”  Which would have been sufficient except that my dad spoke up and said, “Just blow it out the window, it’ll be okay.”  I wish I could just blow my stream of thought out the window as easily.  I mused and fumed some more. Quietly. On the inside.

Then yet another short distance, my other brother, the other son of my mother, asked if they could listen to the radio instead of what I was playing.  I denied the request; which would have been fine except that my father chimed in again.  I conceded and changed to a country station under the stipulation that if it played anything I considered offensive that the cassette would go back in or that we would listen to silence.  It didn’t take long.  If you know country, you know what I mean. (No offence Trace Atkins; keep up the good work brother.) Most country is not very edifying, kind of blues like with a twang.  I don’t remember what came on the radio but it was something about somebody cheating on their spouse and enjoying it.  I didn’t miss a beat, I shut it off or changed it, I don’t remember which, it was twenty years ago.  I do remember what happened next like it was yesterday though.

My father happened.  He’s a believer today and still struggles with some issues but back then he was clearly my adversary.  After some verbal skirmishing with my brothers, my dad steps in and says “Look Carl let us listen to the radio or you can let us all out! We’ll walk home!” Now my dad of all people should have known that we Dills rise to a challenge.  Normally docile and quiet but we always rise to the occasion when put on the spot.  My mind reeled with what to do, what to say, how to handle it in the most “Christian-like” manner.

I said, “I’m not going to listen to that stuff on my radio.” And “I’ll let you out to walk if that’s what you want, (I’m pretty sure what they wanted was for me to stand down) but so we're clear…” I had to make sure they didn’t hang me and my faith with this (which they probably did anyway but that’s okay.) “so we’re clear…  if you walk… you chose to get out and walk.  Don’t go around saying I threw you out of my car and made you walk home.”  They agreed.  I think he thought if they pushed the envelope that I would stand down.

So here we were.  Half way between toll gates on the interstate highway, I had just opened the trunk to let them get their lunch containers, and now I sat staring at them incredulously out my windshield as they walked slowly ahead of and away from my stopped car.  To make it more interesting the Lord had provided a little rain adding to the unfolding drama.  I prayed out loud, “LORD, Please help me to know what to do!!! I don’t know what to do!”

Now as I think back, there are many principles I could have applied to prevent this very awkward situation in the first place.  A situation that I am sure Jesus never would have found Himself in, but I’m not Jesus (In case any of you who know me think that I think I am… I’m not the Boss.). I could have made sure that I was not unequally yoked together in this agreement to car pool.  I could have simply permitted myself to be defrauded, made it clear that I didn’t like it, and made different arrangements for the future.  I could have continued driving and tried to talk them down from their high-horses that were standing nearly as high as mine was.  I could have, I could have, I could have, but I didn’t.  Here I was, staring out my windshield wondering, praying, God what do I do now.

Do I drive out and past them and home-ward?  Maybe even honk lightly as I drove past.  Would it be wrong to smile and wave as I went by them?  Do I stand down? Say, “Hey, I was just kidding, my personal convictions don’t mean that much to me, its okay, come back.”  What to do? What to say?  Then an answer came (Thank you Holy Spirit!), it occurred to me what Jesus would do, in fact, it occurred to me what Jesus did several thousand years ago.

I climbed out of the car, got their attention, since they were walking away and their backs were towards me.  When they turned around, I threw my keys at my father (I was still a little flustered; Jesus would have handed him the keys.), I threw the keys at them and said, “You take the car, I’ll walk.”  You see…  Jesus, who had every right to go-it-home alone didn’t.  He walked that long road to Calvary and laid down His life for us.  He Who knew no sin, became sin for us, so that we could become the righteousness of God in Him.  He suffered, and bled, and died, and later revived (came back to life.), so that we could someday journey with Him to a home He is preparing for us in glory.  God always has a way; He always has a plan.

As it turned out, there had been a prison break that day and the state police were out in force looking for the escape artists.  I hadn’t walked very many steps when something caught my attention.  I don’t remember if it was a blurb of the siren or what, but something from behind my car called me back.  By this time my family was all safely buckled into their seats and I’m pretty sure they were fixin’ to drive away.

I stood there in the rain talking to the Trooper, explaining the situation as he patiently listened.  I wonder now what he must have been thinking about all of this.  I may never know.  After I explained he walked over to the car and questioned my passengers and verified that they were who they said they were.  Then he leaned into the window and said something like, “This is a state highway, pedestrians are not permitted, if you have a problem keep quiet about it, and handle it like men when you get home.”  I smiled, got back into the car, and we drove away.

You would think that would have settled it.  Would have demonstrated amply Who the Boss of things was but before long someone murmured about the silence again.  I repeated “if you have a problem keep quiet about it, handle it like men…” Then it was settled.  At least it seemed so.  I couldn’t say what anyone was thinking but the silence was golden.

I love my family.  I want God’s best for them.  It has taken me twenty years to open lines of communication with some of them; lines that are still a little scratchy today but probably only because we look at the worlds through different sets of glasses.  I can only pray that what I did that day, what I didn’t do, and how God turned it around will somehow all work together for their good.  As I said, my father is a believer in the incarnate, crucified, resurrected, Son of God today.  And although he still struggles with several things I do see growth and change in him.  I know that God takes our mistakes and our selfless actions too, and paints a beautiful picture, a portrait of Himself in us.  The more people see the likeness of God’s Son in us the more He increases in the eyes of others and the more we decrease in comparison.

“He must increase, and WE must decrease!”

It Is a Wicked Mess!

This past Sunday afternoon, yesterday, as I waited to go to church to pray with a few of our men I was holding our feverish baby girl; she was not content with anything else.  My wife was giving her some cold medicine to help with her symptoms and I said… “Just don’t drip it on my shirt.” She didn’t. No sooner than when the medicine slid down her throat did she with force spew up all the contents of the formula bottle she had just had; my dress shirt and my pants were baptized in vomit.  Instantly, my wife and I both laughed. (You have to laugh at yourself and some circumstances… it’s healthy.) Thankfully my loving wife, after changing the baby into dry clothes, set out to iron me another pair of “church clothes” as I sat there in the wet holding the baby; who wouldn’t be content with anything else.  I didn’t mind, that’s what fathers do.

Jesus said to His disciples, “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”  Did you catch the “being evil” part? I bolded it and underlined it so you would…..

Hold that thought; I’ve got to go;

the baby is awake and fussing. (Often I tend to her early on my off days so that her mother, who rarely gets a break, can sleep in.) I will be back to edit and finish this later.

….Okay…

She is content to play in her corral for the moment.

 Did you hold that thought… did you consider the “If ye then, being evil,” part of Jesus’ statement?  How often as fathers do we get bothered by the “distractions” or circumstances that our children cause?  Just this morning before coming to the computer, after feeding Big Baby (That’s what I call her… She is in the 90^th percentile for her age… She is a big baby.), after feeding her I placed her in her play-pen to let her rest and she quietly fell asleep.  I used the time to pick up a book and edify my mind and soul….

Hold that thought; I’ve got to go;

wife is up, Big Baby is fussing again… I’m so sorry friend, Priorities call…

….Okay…

Breakfast and pleasant talk with my Sunshine (That’s My Wife) and Big Baby has eaten. 

As I was saying we cannot be bothered by and feel that the things we as fathers and husband must do are distractions.  Our first priority should be our family and since “Charity suffereth long, [and] is kind;” and charity “seeketh not her own,” it is not charitable towards them if we are bothered by them.  Frankly, if we feel the things we as fathers and husbands do, are “must do’s” than that is not charitable either.  If we love them we will want to do those things, no matter what we have to drop to do it.  I love to write and I love to read but I love my family more, indescribably more.

Now, while the baby slept in her play-pen this morning I read. I read a very instructive and helpful book written by a pastor and I am sure it’s stuff God wants me familiar with.  While I read, and while I was enjoying reading, Big Baby started to fuss. 

Honestly, I was a little bit bothered and I was hoping she would go back to sleep.  I walked to her “cage” and gave her a pacifier and rubbed her head a bit to try to sooth her back to sleep.  It worked!!!

Slowly I walked backward and then, “whaaaaa!” She cried.  I was slightly annoyed… then almost in the same instant I was equally grieved in my Spirit and convicted. 

I began to think how lovingly attentive God is to our cries and how open He is to hearing our concerns. I began to quietly confess my wickedness (Yes, wickedness) and prayed Lord whatever she wants or needs I will provide. As I prayed, leaning over the play-pen, she fell back into a deep sleep.  But my desire to read was not as nearly as strong as my desire to be right with my Heavenly Father and to love my family properly.

Society today is full of people who don’t know how to love properly because they don’t know the Lord of love.  Actually, It is a Wicked Mess! We often forget how to love properly because of selfishness and self-interests. It is wickedness! Jesus said to His disciples, “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”  We need His help to love properly, if you belong to Him, if He is your Father, ask Him for help loving the way He loves.  Don’t you know He will do it!!!  He will give good things to His children when they ask Him to.

Hold that thought; I’ve got to go;…

Back again,…

One last thought. If we are “hot” towards our own things, or even other seemingly good things like church, the Bible, and things of God and are “cold” towards our families it is wickedness.  God says, if we are this way, we are lukewarm.  In Revelation He said to the church of Laodicea “So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.”  He finds lukewarmness in our churches and in our homes very distasteful!  We need His help to love properly, if you belong to Him, if He is your Father, and you still have trouble loving properly, ask Him for help loving the way He loves; selflessly, completely, and unbothered.  Don’t you know He will do it!!!  He will give good things to His children when they ask Him to…. 

In so doing “He will increase… and We will decrease!”

Pray Without Seizing

                We were heading up to the Rangeley Lakes Region here in Maine for a few days of R & R earlier this week and on the drive north the subject of prayer came up.  I don’t remember how it came up, but my nine year old daughter took the occasion to inform us that her devotional in the morning was all about that.  She said that she learned we are supposed to “pray without seizing.” To which she was astonished when we all had a good and hearty bout of laughter.

                She ordinarily is a very proficient reader but we explained to her that the word she pronounced “seizing” is actually pronounced “ceasing”.  We are supposed to pray without stopping.  We, in our minds, in our thought life, can enjoy constant unbroken heavenward dialogue.  We lovingly praise the Lord, petition for others, pray about our needs, and “yes” we do it without “seizing”.  Without grabbing, without clutching our fist, without confiscating what we think we want.  We pray saying, “LORD if you would be pleased with it, I’d like to go and do this or that.” And “LORD if it be your will I would like…”

                We bring our requests to God, we have not because we ask not, but we have to be careful not to ask amiss and pray selfishly, share your heart with the LORD, leave the answer up to Him.

“He must increase, WE must decrease.” By the way, He will and does answer.  Sometimes He answers in very clear, profound, and specific ways.  But if you’re going to expect specific answers you’ll need to get specific with your requests.